Last Rites for Astroland

Angels At the Twilight of Coney Island

Lefty

Reverend Billy and wife Savitri D., dressed as Justice, gathered with Dick Zigun, founder of the Coney Island Circus Sideshow on Sunday to read Astroland Park its last rites before the historical amusement park, open since 1962, closed today for good.

Zigun led a man dressed like Thor on a chain declaring, “This man is guilty of murder!” Thor Equities is the company that plans to remake the area into something like the Vegas strip.

Billy mentioned that 500 families would be out of jobs, and said “Will they be priced out [of the neighborhood]? Of course they will!” “Our public space is becoming privatized systematically,” he said. According to a
New York Magazine article:

“Over the past few years, Sitt’s real-estate company, Thor Equities, has quietly spent nearly $100 million buying up a huge swath of Coney Island from multiple owners, painstakingly overtaking perhaps twelve acres of land along the boardwalk, mostly between KeySpan Park, home of the Cyclones, and Deno’s Wonder Wheel Amusement Park. Sitt, a little-known Manhattan mogul who’s made his fortune building inner-city shopping malls across the country, now lays claim to Coney’s prime turf, its real-estate trophy.”

A Coney Island resident, second from left above, holding a police baton as a symbol of the need for protection of this landmark addressed the crowd stating that “My grandmother brought me here and I intend to bring my grandchildren here.”

Billy asked that the Mermaid Queen, a Coney Island tradition granted to Satri D. this year (and Billy Neptune King) for her efforts to save the site, step forward and as Lady Justice declared Thor Equities guilty before a crowd of on lookers and press.

As he began to perform the last rites he invoked the spirit of “The god, goddess, creator, or other mysterious thing,” and referred to the historic spot as “this beloved place.” He hesitated and said “I can’t do it! Someone give me an Astrolandalujiah! It’s not over.”